Something I wrote just before things really began to change…Still I am so greatful

Dear Lord,

Thank you for all you have given me. I am so undeserving yet you have blessed me in so many ways. I am truly thankful.
Lord, I asked you recently to heal me and take away the pain and make it so I did not have any more surgeries. You have not taken my pain away nor have you kept me from having to have surgeries. Lord, thank you for that. For you have me in the place for a reason. I may not understand it now but I am positive that in time I will understand.
I remember the day the doctor told me I had Fibromyalgia and there was no cure no real regime of medication that would work. My doctor explained that I would have to try different remedies and find the one that worked best. Well two years later I am still trying to find the one that works.

Next came the diagnosis of Chiari Malformation. The doctor at the time thought this could be the cause of my progressive symptoms. See by this time my hand and arms were shaking and jerking. I was unable to hold objects without dropping them often. The muscle spasms in my legs and now my arms were getting worse. I was even tested for MS. I begged you to please help the doctor or give me the doctor that would actually figure out what was wrong with me. I struggled to believe I had Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome along with the Archnoid cyst I knew I had and Chiari. I was struggling to function every day. But Lord, through it all you gave me and continue to give the strength to get up each day and to take care of my family. Thank you!

God, we all go through trials and never give us more than we can handle…I truly believe this because in times where I have said out loud to you, “ I cannot do this and cannot take anymore,” you have taken it away and rendered a solution.
Lord, you are amazing and have created the beauty I see very day. You gave me a gentle and loving husband who is by my side all the time. You have given me all of my children and grandchildren. I am so blessed. So, Lord each day that I struggle because of pain I remember your sacrifice and the pain you endured for all of us. I cannot say thank you enough. Lord, all I can do is offer myself so that you may be gloried through my actions. I am here to serve you. AMEN.

Published by Denise Rogers

I am a wife, mother, stepmother and grandmother who enjoys spending time with family and friends, crafting, gardening, and I am learning to live with being disabled. In 2017, after my 8th thoracic spinal surgery, I lost all feeling from the waist down as well as losing my proprioception on the right side. This has made it difficult to stand without assistive devices and made it, so I am having to relearn to walk. Plus, I have another uncommon condition called Chiari Malformation Type 1 which also creates balance issues as well as many other health issues. Because of the Chiari and the spinal cord injury, I have been left with severe nerve damage which causes a great deal of pain (5 and greater on pain scale) as well as spasticity, muscle spasms, and allodynia (burning) in various areas of my body. I have endured 8 surgeries on my Thoracic Spine and will probably need more as the drain that was placed will eventually clog and require replacement. Currently, I have a spinal to pleural cavity shunt, which drains the CSF from my arachnoid cysts into my pleural cavity. Professionally, I am a retired Health Care Professional with over 26 years of experience. I have worked in the Public Health realm as well as in Long Term Care and Acute Care. I have a B.A. in Sociology with an emphasis in Social Work. It is my hope that through sharing my personal trials, experiences, and triumphs that I can help others keep moving forward. No matter what life throws at us we can always tell a better story. I know that God is with me and because of this anything is possible. His promise to be by my side every step of the way helps me to keep pushing on even when there are setbacks.

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