Learning to live with pain

After 4 major spinal surgeries in the last 7 months, I am still left spasms in my back and legs that can bring my pain level to 15. I had the first surgery to help stop all the spasms and pain, but now I have the scars,implanted devices as well as the spasms and numbness with proprioception problems with my left leg.

Every day I get up hoping that today will be the day with less pain,  but that comes to a sketching halt as soon as the spasms hit. Most of the time my pain stays around a 5 which I can manage, but often they hit at such I high level that doing just basic activities almost impossible. I take medications to help with the pain, but that often doesn’t really work.

I realize that I am only one month out of the last surgery, but I have been living with pain off and on since 2001 when I had the original spinal problem. Even though the pain does affect my family, I am the one that has to deal with it all day every day. They all have an escape, be it school or work , they can get away, whereas I am home most of the time alone with the dog to deal with the pain. Day by day I am learning of ways to deal with the pain. Sometimes getting up and moving works. Others times just resting or finding a certain sitting position works. I also use CBD rubs to help.

I just have to keep trying. Each day has to get better. So for now I just have to learn to live from day to day.

days after 4th surgery

This was taken about a week after the 4th surgery in 7 months. the small scar to the right is where the device is implanted.

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