As I sit hear waiting to see the neurosurgeon for a second opinion I feel at peace. A little over a month ago I had more MRIs done and it showed changes in the thoracic spine. Not what I was hoping for. The great news is my brain and cervical spine MRIs showed no new cysts or areas of concern. Even so, my neurosurgeon at LLUMC encouraged me to get a second opinion from my doctors at Cedars-Sinai regarding the the cysts(s) at T6-T9 before proceeding.
In the past these kinds of visits caused anxiety. My sleep would be affected. I would have very broken and restless sleep for days prior to the appointment. My mind tended to focus on the negative outcomes and the awful,”what if” questions. All that helped me do is become more anxious. Of course being more anxious caused more issues for me. As my pain increased, it caused me to have to take extra meds. By taking extra medication my tiredness increased making it harder to get exercise. It is a vicious circle.
Over the past 2 1/2 years I have learned to rely God more. My belief in God has never been a question, but ability to pray about something and accept that God’s got it all under control was wobbly. Sometimes I had no problem handing it off other times my worrying would take over. Over the time I have changed the way I pray. I am still learning to pray like Daniel. After reading “The Daniel Prayer: Prayer That Moves Heaven and Changes Nations,” by Anne Graham Lotz I began to change the way I pray. Leaning to pray with deliberate purpose takes practice. For now, I am grateful that God has blessed me with peace as I keep moving forward. Prayer really does work and we must learn to be more patient about waiting for the answer.