Peace while I wait for a Second Opinion

As I sit hear waiting to see the neurosurgeon for a second opinion I feel at peace. A little over a month ago I had more MRIs done and it showed changes in the thoracic spine. Not what I was hoping for. The great news is my brain and cervical spine MRIs showed no new cysts or areas of concern. Even so, my neurosurgeon at LLUMC encouraged me to get a second opinion from my doctors at Cedars-Sinai regarding the the cysts(s) at T6-T9 before proceeding.

In the past these kinds of visits caused anxiety. My sleep would be affected. I would have very broken and restless sleep for days prior to the appointment. My mind tended to focus on the negative outcomes and the awful,”what if” questions. All that helped me do is become more anxious. Of course being more anxious caused more issues for me. As my pain increased, it caused me to have to take extra meds. By taking extra medication my tiredness increased making it harder to get exercise. It is a vicious circle.

Over the past 2 1/2 years I have learned to rely God more. My belief in God has never been a question, but ability to pray about something and accept that God’s got it all under control was wobbly. Sometimes I had no problem handing it off other times my worrying would take over. Over the time I have changed the way I pray. I am still learning to pray like Daniel. After reading “The Daniel Prayer: Prayer That Moves Heaven and Changes Nations,” by Anne Graham Lotz I began to change the way I pray. Learning to pray with deliberate purpose takes practice. For now, I am grateful that God has blessed me with peace as I keep moving forward. Prayer really does work and we must learn to be more patient about waiting for the answer.

Published by Denise Rogers

I am a wife, mother, stepmother and grandmother who enjoys spending time with family and friends, crafting, gardening, and I am learning to live with being disabled. In 2017, after my 8th thoracic spinal surgery, I lost all feeling from the waist down as well as losing my proprioception on the right side. This has made it difficult to stand without assistive devices and made it, so I am having to relearn to walk. Plus, I have another uncommon condition called Chiari Malformation Type 1 which also creates balance issues as well as many other health issues. Because of the Chiari and the spinal cord injury, I have been left with severe nerve damage which causes a great deal of pain (5 and greater on pain scale) as well as spasticity, muscle spasms, and allodynia (burning) in various areas of my body. I have endured 8 surgeries on my Thoracic Spine and will probably need more as the drain that was placed will eventually clog and require replacement. Currently, I have a spinal to pleural cavity shunt, which drains the CSF from my arachnoid cysts into my pleural cavity. Professionally, I am a retired Health Care Professional with over 26 years of experience. I have worked in the Public Health realm as well as in Long Term Care and Acute Care. I have a B.A. in Sociology with an emphasis in Social Work. It is my hope that through sharing my personal trials, experiences, and triumphs that I can help others keep moving forward. No matter what life throws at us we can always tell a better story. I know that God is with me and because of this anything is possible. His promise to be by my side every step of the way helps me to keep pushing on even when there are setbacks.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: