Regaining confidence

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Recently I decided that it was time to let my sewing machine go. Besides, it
has been just sitting there collecting dust for over three years. Before I had surgery, I was already experiencing diminished feeling in my legs and feet. I could no longer use the foot peddle, but I held out hope that someday  especially aftermy surgery I would be back to making things. Well, that dream disappeared that fateful day when I got out of bed and lost all feeling from the waist down. But in the back of my mind I was still hopeful, as I believe that God gives usgifts and He wants us to pursue them.

So, before I listed my almost new sewing machine for sale, I decided to give
sewing and using the foot peddle one more try. Besides, I had promised my 9 years old grandson I would make him a blanket. He had picked out a soft greenand tan camouflage material with a dark green edging about two months ago with the understanding that it may be a terribly slow process especially if I had to make it by hand. I had resigned myself to having to sew the blanket by hand, but this is what happened.

Not bad for not having used a sewing machine in a little more than 3yrs. Lots of conversations with God asking him for strength, steadiness, and the ability to finish. My grandson loves his new blanket!

Well, looks like I will be keeping my sewing machine and continue creating. Although I doubted myself,God was there to show me that He is there every step of the way . He has restored some of my confidence which had faded in the midst of my injury. God wants nothing more than to restore us and to give us happiness. We can choose to see all the negatives or we can let the past be the past and keep moving forward making new paths. We can always tell a better story.

Published by Denise Rogers

I am a wife, mother, stepmother and grandmother who enjoys spending time with family and friends, crafting, gardening, and I am learning to live with being disabled. In 2017, after my 8th thoracic spinal surgery, I lost all feeling from the waist down as well as losing my proprioception on the right side. This has made it difficult to stand without assistive devices and made it, so I am having to relearn to walk. Plus, I have another uncommon condition called Chiari Malformation Type 1 which also creates balance issues as well as many other health issues. Because of the Chiari and the spinal cord injury, I have been left with severe nerve damage which causes a great deal of pain (5 and greater on pain scale) as well as spasticity, muscle spasms, and allodynia (burning) in various areas of my body. I have endured 8 surgeries on my Thoracic Spine and will probably need more as the drain that was placed will eventually clog and require replacement. Currently, I have a spinal to pleural cavity shunt, which drains the CSF from my arachnoid cysts into my pleural cavity. Professionally, I am a retired Health Care Professional with over 26 years of experience. I have worked in the Public Health realm as well as in Long Term Care and Acute Care. I have a B.A. in Sociology with an emphasis in Social Work. It is my hope that through sharing my personal trials, experiences, and triumphs that I can help others keep moving forward. No matter what life throws at us we can always tell a better story. I know that God is with me and because of this anything is possible. His promise to be by my side every step of the way helps me to keep pushing on even when there are setbacks.

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