Having faith and trust during our hardships is tough. It is something I struggle with at times. It is easy to allow the negative thoughts take over instead of focusing on what is ahead and having hope. Though out my life I have had many trials, but there have been some major ones such as:
- Breaking my hip in high school
- Being pregnant and having a baby at 18
- Being in abusive relationships/marriages
- Dealing with an Incomplete Spinal Cord Injury and the loss of feeling and proprioception
- Having Chiari Malformation
- Having a cervical fusion at C3-6
I have had to relearn to stand and walk twice now. I have spent extended time in the hospital and rehab. I deal with chronic pain daily and I still must use a walker every day to get around. The list goes on and on if I look for all the things that are wrong.
I can continue to focus on all the bad or I can choose to focus on all the positives. Things like:
- I woke up today!
- I can sit/stand/walk
- I can drive with hand controls
- I am blessed with five children and 4 grandchildren
- I have all my 5 senses
- I have another day to share with those around me
But one of the greatest gifts I get is to praise God for all He has given me. Because with Him by my side there is nothing that I cannot overcome. After all, you can look at the list of some of my trials and see much of what I have conquered.
Yes, there have been moments where I have questioned and felt like, “Why does God hate me,” “What have I done to deserve this?” The reality is that questions like these happen, but the important thing is to learn to lean on Him in these moments and to give all you are facing back to Him. It is not always easy to do this as many of us want to fix things on our own. But we are human and very fallible. When we rely on ourselves, we tend to make things worse.
God wants nothing more than for us to have a relationship with Him. Sometimes these trials/struggles/hardships happen to bring us back to Him so that He may refine us and use us for greater things. It is my hope that by sharing some of my pitfalls/struggles that I may help others get through theirs. We all have the opportunity to keep moving forward and tell a better story.
May God’s light shine upon you always!