Tag Archive | Family

Significance

O Lord, what a variety of things you have made! In wisdom you have made them all. The earth is full of your creatures. Psalm 104:24

Each one of us is a unique creature of God that was created to enjoy all that
God has made. We all play a part in this world, but we cannot reap the benefits of what God has given us if we don’t know our own value and significance. I was reminded of this recently when I attempted to throw away a pile of rocks I found in my car and one of my granddaughters yelled, “Stop, those rocks are special. I found them when I was taking a walk with my mom.”

My grandchildren ages 5, 7, and 9 love to collect rocks. Each one is different
and has a story. I find these rocks of various sizes and colors in places
around the house and car like on the kitchen counters, on my washer or dryer, on the coffee table, under the seats in the car, in the back-cup holder, and various other places. Each child can tell me a story about where the rock was found and what they were doing when they discovered the rock (s). These white, brown and grey ordinary insignificant rocks were beautiful and valuable because of the special memories they created.

It made me wonder if I do a good job of letting those around me know how
much I value our time together. Do I make them feel important (significant)? Do I remind them and tell them? How often do I tell them;

You make me laugh and happy!

I enjoy out time together.

I believe in you!

You are important to me.  

I love you.

Each day we are given another opportunity to enjoy all God has given us. Another opportunity to keep moving forward, but for this to happen we must first take the time and notice its significance.  We will never regret taking the time to spend with our loved ones, but we might regret wasted moments looking at our phones or sleeping the day away. My grandchildren could have walked by and ignored the ordinary rocks. Instead they saw the beauty and significance in each rock they collected. The rock(s) helped form a special memory, which gave them meaning. How can we do this for our family and friends? Our lives are often busy and rushed, but I urge you to take some time to make sure those around you know that they are significant (important).

 

The gorgeous sunset tonight. Enjoying the view while navigating the pain and spams. Have enjoyed the day watching my grandkids and nephew hang out and boogie board. So thankful for the special moments when my pain is down. Ugh!!!!Spams and burning. Man it sucks! The pain often interrupts my life in so many ways. Doing my best to enjoy as many moments as possible. God has painted the sky yet again!

Weekend Relaxation

Taking time to relax and rest. After a week of being sick as well as dealing with the daily issue my hubby and I are enjoying visiting our family and relaxing in New Port Beach,Ca. This will be our view for the weekend. Hoping this will bring more healing into my body. Enjoying some of the wonders God has given us!

Moments

Enjoying the outdoors and cooler weather in Big Bear. Taking time to seize the moment when my pain in on the low end for me (about a 4) and watching to make sure I do not over heat and cause my symptoms to flare.

Not being able to regulate my body temperature has made getting out more difficult. Because I only sweat on my face and neck my body cannot cool itself which poses the risk of over heating and heat exhaustion, so staying cool and drinking plenty of water are a must. Then there is the opposite issue as well. My body cannot tolerate over air conditioned places. Both extremes cause my body to spam and burn more, which of course, causes my pain to increase. Oh, the joys of living with a spinal cord I jury.

The best thing I can do for myself is to take the opportunities that present themselves and keep moving forward. At the same time, learning to allow myself down time when my body is in pain without beating myself up. I still have work to do in this area.

Balance training

Today June 18th, 2019 I arrived at the gym feeling tired and hurting at a 5. I chose to head to the gym regardless of the pain because I knew that I had to push myself. Please note that I do have days where my pain which is caused by Allodynia and spasms is so elevated that I can barely move let alone drive. Gratefully, today was not one of those days. I do find that exercise and moving around can aid in diminishing my pain. By the time I left the gym my pain was down to a 4.

Todays session was balance training. Because I lost my proprioception, my balance, also went out the window. I have been working for the past two years to regain it. Developing new neuro pathways is essential for me. You see, our bodies are amazing structures that even when it is damaged it looks for ways to rebuild itself. I have to really concentrate on every movement as well as noting what I am feeling or not feeling as each exercise is performed.

Squats while balancing on the Bosu ball.

Balanced on the Bosu ball for 60 seconds. I remember the days that I could not balance for more than 12 seconds.

When I am not in the gym I workout at home. I get down on the ground and crawl on my hands and knees twice a day. I also put on 5 lbs. ankle weights and walk around my house for at least 30mins. practicing to lift my legs as high as I can get them. Often it is not very high, but I know every little bit helps. I also do a lot of stretching and eventually I plan on joining a yoga class. Right now getting up and down off the floor is still difficult and I often look like someone learning to walk on stilts.

Each session is different and challenging. Leaving the gym today I felt accomplished and renewed. I saw the progress I am making. Each day God gives me is a day to show Him that his gift is not being wasted. Because I have hope and faith in what God can do I cannot give up. A very wise friend of mind said, ” Speak to your legs daily and tell them they are healed. God , is healing you right now.” From that day on and I have done my best to remind my legs that they are healed and that they work. God is good!

Learning-to-deal

Each day is different. Some days are great in that the pain is down usually around a 3 to 5 on the pain scale. Other days no matter what I do the pain remains high at about 5 to 9. There is no reason for it as my medications remain the same. Why? This is the one of the questions that plague me. I am learning to deal with so many things, but the one big thing is letting go of the why and learning to live in the now. This is beyond difficult.

Some days it feels like God is gone and has left me. He hates me. He not only took the use of my legs, but has allowed me to continue to hurt at levels that are unbearable at times. I have become isolated from those around me as their lives cannot accommodate someone like me who is slow moving and unreliable because the pain. My only communication with “friends” is often via things like Facebook or Instagram. It is a lonely place to be. The reality is people don’t just want to sit around watching TV, playing a game or talking with someone who is hurting because we are not fun to be around. Besides their lives don’t have time for people like us who are in constant pain and disabled.

Learning to let all of that go and see the “bright side”  is not easy. Realizing that God is still there and He really does love us seems like a dream. For me, deep down I know that God is real and He loves me. The enemy loves to sneak in and make me doubt everything. So often questions like, can my family still love me the same? How can I still be whole? How can I take care of my family as I can barely take care of myself? Each day seems to bring new questions and doubt. It sucks. It doesn’t help when the people you love are constantly telling you things like- Pick up you feet, bend your knees, don’t bend over and pick things up. As for me, I already know my body doesn’t work right I really don’t need to be reminded constantly.

So how do I let is all go? I don’t know at this point. Each day all I can do is pray constantly and do my best to move forward. With God’s help it is my hope that I will find a purpose for my life and I can learn to let all of this go accepting what is happening to me.