Tag Archive | Illness

Even baby step move us forward

Each day we open our eyes is another opportunity to keep moving forward. Even the smallest of steps is a step forward. When dealing with chronic illness some days feel like you take one step forward and 5 steps back. Between dealing with the pain, the medications, and daily life it can be overwhelming.

Yet, the smallest of steps is still moving in the right direction. Just sitting up for a few minutes at a time is a start. Remembering to allow ourselves to have down time is important. Just because one day is bad doesn’t mean all days will be bad. I know from my own experience that sometimes I may only one day where my pain is at a 6 to an 8 most of the day, while at other times it is 4 to7 days in a row. Making it difficult to see end through it all. During these times I pray a lot and make sure I allow myself time to recover. Focusing on every little positive step allows me to remember that any movement is movement forward. It is important to flood our brains with the positives instead of negatives because as humans we tend to focus on the negative.

Life can be full of negative moments, but there are many more positive ones. So, if we focus on those we will find ourselves more able to deal with our issues allowing us to keep moving forward and overcome so much more. Every day we have the choice to allow the negative moments to take over or to focus on the blessings we are given every day.

Anything is possible

All we have to do is open our eyes and we can see all things He has created. If He created us and all things that surround us than how can we doubt that anything is impossible?

Have faith and hope because “Where there is faith, and there is hope, Miracles Transpire. ” No matter where we are or what circumstances we gave God is with us. All we have to do is ask Him. He loves us unconditionally and wants us to depend on Him.

Each morning I awake in pain facing the fact that I am disabled. Yet, I know that through every breath God is by my side. Even on the days I can barely get out of bed and requiring me to take extra medication just to move. He keeps me moving forward and helps me push through it all. Because of Him I am walking again instead of being in a wheelchair. Because of Him I am continuing to improve even almost 4 years out. They maybe baby steps but they are steps. Don’t give up hope because each day we are given is another day for a miracle to happen.

Pain Is it real or just in my head

As I awake each morning my body reminds me of how damaged it is because the pain never seems to go away. But the question I continue to ask myself is, Is my pain real or just in my head? I ask myself this because I have been told repeatedly that, your brain controls everything and you have the ability to control your brain. Well, when you have a physical condition that creates pain, how does that constitute that your pain is all in your head?

Over the past few years, I have been to many doctors which deal with my physical conditions of incomplete spinal cord injury, arachnoid cysts in my thoracic spine, Chiari malformation and nerve damage related to the 8 surgeries to decompress my spinal cord. Some of my doctors recognize that my pain is real, and others like to pretend that my pain is all in my head and is going to go away. Regardless I am still left with the “real” limitations that my pain creates.

Some days I can move around with less pain than others. Often, I get asked questions like, why is your pain better? Why aren’t you hurting as bad? Why are you moving better? The response of ” I don’t know” never seems acceptable.  Instead I often hear comments like- Well, you’re the only one that tell us why? Or What did you do different? When I explain that I have done nothing different, that I have taken all the same medications in the same order as I do every day it is still not acceptable. The frustration is beyond what one person should have to deal with. Why don’t others get that if I could figure it out, I would duplicate it so that every day would be better?

For now, all I can do is keep moving forward by continuing to deal with my pain by taking my prescribed medications at the same time daily, stretching and doing balance exercises to help strengthen my brain’ s communication with my legs and back. Right now, my brain still doesn’t fully realize I even have legs. For example, if I stand at the kitchen counter without looking down at my feet periodically my brain sometimes forgets I am standing, which causes me to fall. This is caused by the loss of proprioception in both legs.

The communication from my brain to my nerves is also on overdrive causing my nerves to overact. This causes the skin on my back, stomach and upper legs to feel like it is being stretched, sliced and is on fire. Even the slightest touch feels intense and painful. Putting on clothing hurts to the point of giving me the chills at times. It also causes my right leg which normally has very little feeling to feel like there are a million spiders with sharp needles on theirs legs are poking me repeatedly.  I am prescribed Gabapentin 700 mg three times a day for my neuropathic pain in conjunction with other pain medications which I take every 4 hours to “help” control the pain. None of this works well. I find that the pain medication takes about an hour to start working then only work at its full capacity for about two hours then decreases quickly. This leaves me in pain most of the day. It is often hard to get motivated to do much or to really want to be around people.

So, is my pain real or in my head? I say both.  The pain is real, but it can be exacerbated by my brain response to stressful situations and by physical changes. For example, if my body is fighting a cold my pain often increases until the illness runs its course. Stressful situations often lead to more pain. It is easy for me to start doubting myself and lose my perspective therefore, creating stress and more pain. But because I have hope that I will get better, whether it is via a new medication and/or treatment or answered prayer I will keep me moving forward. God has promised that if we have faith and ask Him to heal us that it will be done. ” And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven” James 5:15. Having hope is what helps me continue each day even though I know I will wake up in pain and end my day in pain. My prayers continue to be answered as each day I improve even if it is only a small bit. I went from being mostly in a wheelchair to walking with a walker in just a few short months after my 8th surgery.  Currently, I still walk with a walker, but I can walk some without any assistive devices. I refuse to give up as I know God will keep His promise and we all have a better story we can tell.

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Credit: NIH There’s been a lot of excitement about the potential of antibody-based blood tests, also known as serology tests, to help contain the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic. 710 more words

Study Finds Nearly Everyone Who Recovers From COVID-19 Makes Coronavirus Antibodies — NIH Director’s Blog

Little improvements

Standing doing my hair without any assistive devices! My balance has improved thanks to doing yoga with an instructor 2x per week (5 weeks so far) and using my LifeGlider.

I did have a recent fall🤪. I was bending down to pick something up off the floor, I had undone the safety belt on my walker as it was restricting me,there was water on the floor and my legs slipped causing me to loose my footing and down I went. Not smart on my part. Just because my balance and proprioception have improved some does not mean I don’t have to continue to pay attention to what I am doing. I still have to remind myself of walking hill to toe, to pick up my feet, and not to lean forward. Old habits are hard to break!

I am still excited about all the progress I am making. I know I am not doing this alone. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and your words of encouragement. I know God is with me and because of this anything is possible. His promise to be my side every step of the way helps to keep me moving forward even when there are set backs.