Progress is continually happening even when we think it is not. For me, I never know when my body will amaze me because on most days I deal with disappointment and pain. Yet days like yesterday at the gym, where I did 100 squats and finished off walking on the treadmill, sometimes happen. Staying focus and positive, although hard, is what I do my best to do. Before I begin my workouts I often say a quick prayer, thanking God for all He has given me. I also ask Him to give me strength so that I can continue to heal and do His work by spreading the word about all He has done and continues to do for me. Throughout this ordeal I have had very low moments, but I have remained strong in faith knowing that God is with me even when I feel alone. He has given us one of the greatest gifts our ever healing bodies.
Working out with God by my side is incredible. Even when I am tired and hurt , my body can do amazing things. I will continue to keep pushing myself and improving my overall health in the process. Meanwhile, the struggle to regain my ability to walk independently is real. Below are videos showing some of the exercises I do to help restore my broken body.
This works my glutes, hips, core, and biceps. It also works on my balance. This type of squat with the ball creates resistance and gives me more stability. We immediately noticed my knees did not buckle nor did they rotate in.
I started with this type of squat. We decided to try the more aggressive way as it used more muscles. This still required balance, but not as much as the other system. Just being able to do this-Wow, God is good!
My trainer and I have agreed to add this routine into my workouts regularly as it promotes better core, leg, hip, and bicep strength. I am well aware that my muscle mass diminished since my SCI. I also know from personal experience that it disappears faster than you can build it. My trainer and I are always looking for safe ways to stress my muscles, to engage them more fully, yet at the same time not causing any extra pain. Unfortunately, I often get increased pain the day after my workouts so learning to cope with the pain without having to increase medications is also involved.
I am so thankful for all the progress that I have been able to make. I truly believe that none of this would be possible without God by my side. God answers our prayers in His time and not ours. It is often hard to be patient, but when we give it all to Him and let God take over it is amazing what can happen. Each day is another given to us as a gift and is best not wasted, So for me I choose to “keep moving forward” and finding the positives in the things around me even if they are small.
My gym day was a bit different on Tuesday, tough but amazing. I started out doing some of my normal exercises, abs, seated leg press, and seated calf raises. What came next surprised me. First, I did lunges and then I was able to do deep bend squats. I only did two sets of 20 each, and then ended with walking on the treadmill. I never thought I would be able to lunges or deep squats because of my legs are still wobbly and are definitely not as strong as they use to be.
Not easy, but definatley will keep working on these!
Tired but so worth it!
As you can see I am still wobbly. I know with continued work my technique will improve as well as my strength. There is a negative to this and that is I often suffer more spasms and burning the night after as well as often into the next day. Over time I have noticed that the extra discomfort has deminished. I also have to remind myself that sometimes I just have bad days regardless what I do.
Today June 18th, 2019 I arrived at the gym feeling tired and hurting at a 5. I chose to head to the gym regardless of the pain because I knew that I had to push myself. Please note that I do have days where my pain which is caused by Allodynia and spasms is so elevated that I can barely move let alone drive. Gratefully, today was not one of those days. I do find that exercise and moving around can aid in diminishing my pain. By the time I left the gym my pain was down to a 4.
Todays session was balance training. Because I lost my proprioception, my balance, also went out the window. I have been working for the past two years to regain it. Developing new neuro pathways is essential for me. You see, our bodies are amazing structures that even when it is damaged it looks for ways to rebuild itself. I have to really concentrate on every movement as well as noting what I am feeling or not feeling as each exercise is performed.
Squats while balancing on the Bosu ball.
Balanced on the Bosu ball for 60 seconds. I remember the days that I could not balance for more than 12 seconds.
When I am not in the gym I workout at home. I get down on the ground and crawl on my hands and knees twice a day. I also put on 5 lbs. ankle weights and walk around my house for at least 30mins. practicing to lift my legs as high as I can get them. Often it is not very high, but I know every little bit helps. I also do a lot of stretching and eventually I plan on joining a yoga class. Right now getting up and down off the floor is still difficult and I often look like someone learning to walk on stilts.
Each session is different and challenging. Leaving the gym today I felt accomplished and renewed. I saw the progress I am making. Each day God gives me is a day to show Him that his gift is not being wasted. Because I have hope and faith in what God can do I cannot give up. A very wise friend of mind said, ” Speak to your legs daily and tell them they are healed. God , is healing you right now.” From that day on and I have done my best to remind my legs that they are healed and that they work. God is good!