As we begin 2020, why not spread love instead anger and hatred? Take time to listen to one another. Or simply share smile. It can change your day and there’s.
Having hope and believing that God is healing me has continued to give me the courage and strength to continue moving forward. My hard work of going to the gym and working with a trainer at least twice a week, continuing to stretch and crawl as much as possible, and recently adding in the use of the Bioness L300 Go system are paying off . My walking and balance have improved! I am hopeful that I will eventually be able to walk device free again. I have also recently begun to get more feeling in my right leg. Six months ago, my right leg was mostly numb only having feeling in the ankle and behind the knee. I am beginning to have intermittent feeing at the back of my thigh and along the inner and out areas of my leg.
This was 6 months ago in June. My walking is clunky and stiff. It was difficult to control my especially if I wasn’t looking at them.
This was yesterday morning. My walking is still stiff, but it is smoother. My knees don’t snap as often. I also can walk without looking down at my feet all the time. God is good and He is helping me get through day by day. I refuse to give up. I will dance freely again!
I have been unable to use my Bioness L300 Go system for the last two weeks due to the unexplained swelling and pain I had in my right leg. The doctor believed that it was a vein in my leg ruptured which caused the swelling and bruising. So, I took a break from using my devices, but now I am back to using them gradually. I am hopeful that overtime I will improve and graduate from having to use any assistive devices because it is believed that over time new nerve pathways are created. This means more communication from my legs to my brain. This will help improve my proprioception which will improve my balance and feeling in my legs.
I am walking on an incline. My walking continues to be jerky, but with lots of prayer, time, hard work, and going back to Pt for gait training my walking will improve. I am blessed to even be able to stand and walk. I will never take my legs for granted again.
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. Luke 16:10 NLT
Everyone has experienced fear, but it is how we deal with it that matters. We all can face our fears and overcome them, or we can let the fear cripple us. Becoming disabled at the age of 50 was not what I planned for and it led to so many questions and uncertainties. Thankfully fear kindles courage and courage is what helps us overcome our fears. So, we must find the source of our courage in order to confront our fear.
It is my belief that courage can come from our experiences, from those around us who encourage us, but most of all from God. When I attempt to face a fear on my own, I tend to become overwhelmed and anxious keeping me stuck. But when I seek God’s help first, He lets me see that although my fear may be bigger than me, it is not bigger than Him. When the physical therapist told me to stand for the first time after my spinal cord injury, I was scared, and I did not believe my legs could hold me up after all I couldn’t even feel them. I cried out and asked God to help me through this. He answered by giving me family, friends, therapists, and doctors which continually encouraged me letting me know that they had faith in me and my ability. Their faith in me was greater than the faith I had in myself and because of this it gave me the courage to get through some of the scariest times.
Our fear regardless of how small or big can cripple us if we let it. It can keep us from reaching our full potential, but when we seek God – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). He guides us, showing us, He is there by helping us to keep moving forward despite our fear. He brings people into our lives to help us through. It is my belief that this is another way God lets us know that we are never alone and our fear maybe bigger than us, but it is not bigger than Him.
Your life may not be where you always envisioned it would be just yet, but all you have is now. Remove the unrealistic expectations and unfair demands of perfection you’ve placed on yourself…close your eyes…and just dance. Really experience life. Really experience God’s love. Enjoy the knowledge that you belong to the Lord and feel the joy of sharing Him with others. Enjoy the life God has given you as you cast every care on Him!
Prayer: Father God, thank You for the life You have given me. Show me how to fully live it without placing demands of perfection on myself. Help me to just dance, just live, and enjoy the gift of life You’ve given me and live it to the fullest in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
My life changes what seems like daily. Living with chronic pain, dealing with a spinal cord injury which left me with deficits all the while still being a wife, a mother, and grandmother isn’t easy. Yet, I know that I am here for a reason. Each day I open my eyes I am thankful for another day I get to be with my family, enjoy everything around me to the best of my ability, and to have the opportunity to keep moving forward. Even on the days I feel like I am going backwards, I know that God is still with me working on me, refining me.
O Lord, what a variety of things you have made! In wisdom you have made them all. The earth is full of your creatures. Psalm 104:24
Each one of us is a unique creature of God that was created to enjoy all that
God has made. We all play a part in this world, but we cannot reap the benefits of what God has given us if we don’t know our own value and significance. I was reminded of this recently when I attempted to throw away a pile of rocks I found in my car and one of my granddaughters yelled, “Stop, those rocks are special. I found them when I was taking a walk with my mom.”
My grandchildren ages 5, 7, and 9 love to collect rocks. Each one is different
and has a story. I find these rocks of various sizes and colors in places
around the house and car like on the kitchen counters, on my washer or dryer, on the coffee table, under the seats in the car, in the back-cup holder, and various other places. Each child can tell me a story about where the rock was found and what they were doing when they discovered the rock (s). These white, brown and grey ordinary insignificant rocks were beautiful and valuable because of the special memories they created.
It made me wonder if I do a good job of letting those around me know how
much I value our time together. Do I make them feel important (significant)? Do I remind them and tell them? How often do I tell them;
You make me laugh and happy!
I enjoy out time together.
I believe in you!
You are important to me.
I love you.
Each day we are given another opportunity to enjoy all God has given us. Another opportunity to keep moving forward, but for this to happen we must first take the time and notice its significance. We will never regret taking the time to spend with our loved ones, but we might regret wasted moments looking at our phones or sleeping the day away. My grandchildren could have walked by and ignored the ordinary rocks. Instead they saw the beauty and significance in each rock they collected. The rock(s) helped form a special memory, which gave them meaning. How can we do this for our family and friends? Our lives are often busy and rushed, but I urge you to take some time to make sure those around you know that they are significant (important).
Working hard to strengthen my core, hips, glutes, and quads. I have noticed that my overall strength has improved. Still have a long way to go.
In time, with lots of work I will walk again without assitive devices. And if for some reason that does not happen, then I will still be healthier and stronger.