This picture of a Mama bird feeding her baby was taken by me in my yard a few days ago. God’s beauty and miraculous creations surround us.
It is so easy for us to allow all the negative thoughts take over instead of believing in ourselves. Especially when we are faced with a chronic illness, major life change, and/or a new challenge. Yet, the truth is we are miraculous beings created to do great things.
No matter where we are in life, we have a purpose. Sometimes it is learning to lean on others for support other times it is helping others reach their potential. When faced with having to relearn to stand, walk, and do some many other daily living tasks I had to lean on those around me. It was not easy as I was always the one the others leaned on. I enjoyed giving to others but was not great at receiving. My relationship with my husband for example was extremely easy prior to my injury. We often referred to each other as Chip and Dale as we both were great at giving and compromising.
After my injury, it changed for me. I no longer was able to perform most of my household duties nor drive and assist with duties such as driving to the children to and from school. Where I found purpose and identity was gone. I was left feeling worthless and a bit hopeless. Yet deep down I knew that I had to keep pushing forward and work on getting back to doing what I loved “giving”. I had to regain confidence in myself and trust those around me for love and guidance.
My easy relationship became strained and difficult. I felt like I was a burden even though my husband and family assured me that I was not. It was extremely difficult not to feel this way when my husband was having to work all day then come home at night to take care of me and the household. In the mornings before he left for a full day of work, he had to help bathe me and get me dressed. We had to arrange for a full-time care giver to drive me to my appointments, help with our children, and assist with doing the cooking and cleaning. Thus, making me feel lost, afraid, alone, and worthless. I did my best to explain how I felt to my amazing husband, but it proved to be more difficult than I realized. I sought medical advice as well and for a short time took medication to improve my depression and anxiety.
In time as I continued to push forward my strength, outlook, and overall abilities improved. My relationship with my husband has become easier and less strained. There is still work for both of us to do as we both want to be Chip and Dale. Also, I feel better about my new normal. Now there are still times when my anxiety and depression creep back up, but I am better equipped to deal with it because of my hope that I will continue to improve and my faith that God will continue to heal me. This ordeal has taught me to lean heavily on my faith and allow God to guide me through. After all He created me, and I am a miraculous creation capable of many great things and so are you. Never give up because you never know what great accomplishment is just around the corner because if you are alive, He is not done with you yet